conspiracies, extra-terrestrials, and good times
4-30-2024
Hello America!
The Maniacs have spoken! Last Wednesday, more than 150,000 of them in Pennsylvania voted for Nikki Haley! We have a democracy again! Nikki received more than sixteen percent of the vote! The coronation of Hillary Clinton as the 2016 Democrat presidential candidate sickened many of us. Coronations of any kind are rarely any good. We need a process of true competition! At Maniac Nebula, we urge the DNC to change its rules about super delegates. No one believes they are fair. Bernie Sanders, Tulsi Gabbard, and RFK Jr deserved better. Go back to the old ways!
The Republican party isn’t any better. In 2024, there has been a coronation of Donald Trump going on.
BUT WAIT A SECOND!!!!!
(All caps intended here.)
Nikki Haley has resurrected! Democracy itself is alive and kicking! Maniacs have made their voices heard! They will not be silenced! Ironically, Maniacs created the Frankenstein monster known as Donald Trump! They did this in 2016 because the Establishment put Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush on our plates! That’s like going to a friend’s house and being given the choice between a Spam sandwich and an anchovy pizza! No thanks, but I’ll just go home and make myself some Top Ramen!
(Trump was Top Ramen that year.)
We have choices in life. When you believe you have no true choices, a conspiracy is going on. I promised the Maniacs of the world that I would endorse a non-Trump candidate if they gave me one. Mike Pence, Chris Christie, Liz Cheney, and Nikki Haley have all defied Orange Jesus! Thank God, someone is! I made it clear that I am not anti-Republican! I have become anti-Trump! Of all my moderators, only one is committed to voting Republican in November. Grumpy Old Man has his reasons, and I respect him. In the days since the Pennsylvania primary, I have reached out to him. “What if Donald Trump is not the nominee? What if Nikki Haley is? Would you vote for her?”
“Over Joe Biden and RFK Jr?” he asked. “Of course!”
Anything can happen in the following months! Donald Trump has brazenly violated his gag orders. He will be found in contempt! This will have effect on his other criminal trials. Voting for Nikki Haley is more than mere protest. It is practical. Personally, I don’t subscribe to her policy about not allowing anonymous posting onto the internet. The participants of the Boston Tea Party were dressed as Indians. Ben Franklin wrote as Poor Richard. It is part of American tradition to speak in disguises! Samuel Clemens wrote as Mark Twain! If Nikki Haley were to be elected president, and if she were to demand my real name (or the real name of Grumpy Old Man, or any of our members), we would fight her on that issue. But that’s a bridge we’ll cross when we get to it.
We endorse Nikki Haley for president at Maniac Nebula! For registered Republicans, we encourage you to continue to vote for her in the remaining primaries. Come election day, write her name in if she’s not on the ballot! I am the site operator, so I can make these statements. As individuals, everyone is committed to their own choices. This is no different than a newspaper endorsing a candidate. I’m sure the New York Times might have a few out outliers voting for Trump, for example. Fox News might have a handful of closet Biden supporters.
When Christians make big decisions, I understand they often ask themselves, “What would Jesus do?” Well, as the operator of this conspiracy site, I ask, “What would a Maniac do?”
A Maniac would start a write-in campaign for the only candidate remaining from the political duopoly who is a true middle finger to the status quo. Yeah, Chris Christie would also be a middle finger and a slap in the face, but Haley got the votes. To Mike Pence, Chris Christie, and Liz Cheney, I commend you for standing up to the Frankenstein monster we all created.
We are creating a page dedicated to a Nikki Haley presidency. Captain Grifter is still backing Biden. Grumpy Old Man is still willing to vote for Donald Trump if we fail to have Nikki Haley replace him on the printed ballots. Space Ghost still wants RFK Jr in the White House. We all have come to a consensus that there’s something wrong with the Trump campaign, though. We need alternatives. We need contengencies. Most of all, we need to flip the bird at the Establishment and their supporting legacy media. By the way, Jesse Watters… If you believe you’re not part of the legacy media, you’re kidding yourself.
Sincerely,
— Demented
Every now and then we think we come across “closet maniacs” and tonight SNL opened with the “conspiracies, extra-terrestrials, and good times” vibe…👽
