3-20-2024

Hello Maniacs,

Site Operator, Demented, asked me and the other mods to weigh in on the 2024 election.  I’ve done that.

“Remember it’s not about voting harder, it’s about voting smarter. Know who you’re voting for today and what they stand for. Vote your conscious!  Make sure that you can still look yourself in the mirror after you cast your vote …”

Jesse “the Body” Ventura

Take these wise words from a former Minnesota governor to heart.  I’ve voted in many presidential elections.  I voted for a Democrat one time, and I voted for a Replublican one time.  Ralph Nader dubbed the failed, corrupt two-party system we have as Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.  I voted for him twice.

One of my favorite Simpsons episodes is Treehouse of Horror VII.  Rigellian aliens, Kodos and Kang, are running for president.  Kang wins and enslaves humanity.  Soon after, “Don’t Blame Me – I Voted For Kodos” bumper stickers and yard signs become popular.  The humor and moral of the story is that humanity was going to be enslaved no matter what.  Kodos would’ve enslaved humanity just the same.

If you haven’t heard these words, I’d like to share them:

kakistocracy (noun) – government by the least suitable or competent citizens of a state

plutocracy (noun) – government of the rich, by the rich, for the rich

oligarchy (noun) – a small group of people having control of a country, organization, or institution

Our system has evolved into an outward kakistocracy, but a hidden plutocracy.  It is an oligarchy where less than one hundred people control half of the world’s wealth.  Long ago, there were a couple of political comedies which became prophetic.  In 1985’s Brewster’s Millions, “None of the Above” was a strong voting option.  Fast forward to last month when Nikki Haley lost to “None of These Candidates” in Nevada.  In 1992’s Distinguished Gentleman, Eddie Murphy’s character ran on the slogan “the name you know” and mislead the public on the way to victory.  Eight short years later, George W Bush accomplished the same thing.

When people talk to me about modern politics, I think about World Wrestling Entertainment.  It’s scripted.  We watch wrestling.  Two guys are duking it out.  One guy gets the upper hand, then the referee is distracted by something outside the ring.  While his back is turned, the momentum flips a one eighty as someone enters the ring with a folding chair and slams it against the back of the wrestler pounding the other one making him fall to the mat.  The intruder with the chair skips out, the referee turns his attention back to the fighters, and the guy who got smacked with the chair is pinned by a limp opponent.

So my advice for this election season?  Vote for who you want to!  Vote for someone who makes you feel good!  Besides Ralph Nader, I voted for Tina Fey!  That’s right!  In the 2004 election, two buddies from Yale’s Skull and Bones were the finalists.  Greg Palast and others believed the 2000 election was rigged, and it was happening again.  I happen to think Tina Fey would’ve made a good president so I wrote her in.  That’s what my conscious told me to do!  I didn’t have it in me to vote for Tweedle Dee or Tweedle Dum.  I didn’t want to vote for Kang or Kodos.  The only thing I would urge you to do is consider that it’s all a farce, now. Please don’t go to work tomorrow telling a coworker, “That wrestling match was bullshit!  Max Blue was getting his ass kicked when one of his buddies saved him with that folding chair! Totally against the rules!”

I once believed wrestling was real, and I still do.  Those guys are genuine athletes.  I don’t believe it’s organic and spontaneous like I used to, though.  I believed democracy was real.  Now?  I feel like Puff the Magic Dragon when Jackie Draper went away.  Green scales fell like rain!  And they haven’t stopped falling this whole millennium.

Sincerely,

Homer Cocktail

click ^^^

3-31-3024

Hey,

Trump has a small dick and that’s why he developed the buildings in New York.  Sigmund Freud has called it “phallic compensation” and there’s more to the story.  When Trump ran for president in the 2016 election, Marco Rubio noticed he had small hands.

Small hands, small penis.

Trump is trying to compensate, but so are his followers.  They drive 4x4s, they have big guns, and they talk major shit… to compensate for their tiny dicks.

I am starting my own website to explain these issues.  Wacky Taffy has done well, but she’s a chick.  Only guys can know how bad Trump and his Maga Fags are trying to compensate.

I present:

Too Big To Rig

(site under construction …)

It’s ironic.  Trump already knows he will lose (again) to Biden, so he’s trying to prep his small-dick following to revolt when it happens.  Don’t make public that you have a micro-penis by supporting MAGA!  You can hide it!  Support anyone but Trump, and chicks will think you have at least five inches under the hood!

In summary, president with…

– Homer Cocktail

ps … Hitler only had one functioning testicle.  Look how that turned out!  Don’t let Trump’s micro-penis wreck our planet!!

pss … Napolean, another tiny man, had a complex named after him.

_ HC

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